I mean their business has been increasing year after year, right?īe Tolerant, Just Not of That Guy Double standards make me laugh. Good for them, marching to their own beat! I'm sure it won't impact their viability. They highlight the lesser known religious holidays. Again, it makes sense (not really, I'm just being sarcastic.) Most businesses will highlight something that will attract the masses in the hopes of securing more sales. They just didn't feature them on the promotional poster. Regardless, as luck would have it, when I reached the head of the line, a quick inquiry revealed that they still do carry Christian Christmas stamps. Further, you'd think in light of the challenges that the US Postal Service has had, that they would avoid putting a promotional piece out there that draws the ire of the Christian faithful, given their numbers. The lack of one featured on the poster, made me want one more, just to be difficult. Strange that they'd highlight two religions, but not the most prevalent of the bunch here in America-Christianity. Hanukkah lasts eight days, so it trumps Kwanzaa by one and Christmas-if you include the entire Advent celebration-lasts between three and four weeks! The Christmas season is by far, the longest celebration of the bunch, but yet, there weren't any specific Christmas (religious) stamps shown on the promotional poster at the post office.
Which got me thinking we sure have this holiday stuff figured out at the end of the year. However, a quick Google search lets me know that it is an African celebration that runs from December 26 - January 1. Kwanzaa, while I like to say it, I have zero idea as to what it is. The ridiculousness of it! I mean Hanukkah is already done, so that one was out of the question. There was a gingerbread house, a poinsettia, a celebration of Kwanza and one for Hanukkah. "Oh good!" I thought to myself, as I was unsure which stamps would be available this year, so I could peruse that, while I waited in line. That's when I spotted the marketing poster for the United States Post Office encouraging me to "Send Holiday Cheer," with the seasonal stamps. There are just some days I don't feel like engaging in conversation. As is the case often times, I avoid eye contact and try to focus on other things with interest, even if I have zero interest. So, there I was, standing in line at the post office, among my slack-jawed peers, who were also marveling that Christmas would be upon us in less than a week. I take every morsel of legitimacy I can scrounge together on things like this. I thought I should get Christmas stamps for them, to give the appearance of "effort" put forth on the project. We'll call that my "Golden Rule of Laziness." Yesterday, I took my handful of reactionary Christmas cards to the post office. I find it's easier to just wait until you receive Christmas cards and then reciprocate after the fact.
How to Alienate People I'm generally running behind on things, especially when it comes to Christmas cards. Or in my case, this year, I'll be doing my part to create sugar-laden demons, with tip number five from the above list! We're all wrestling with our own inner demons. So seize the moment and have that cookie just don't tell everyone how much you're going to regret the calories. Know that in another 10 years, you'll be wishing you were as thin as you are now. Also, I recommend pulling out pictures of your high school years and see how thin you were then, as compared to now. When all else fails, know that there is always someone who is fatter than you. (You'll sit straighter and look thinner.) If guilt still overwhelms, resort to doing kegels while sitting at the table, drinking your cup of cheer.Take just one bite of every treat and give the rest to the child of an annoying relative to give their kid an extra boost of "energy.".Pick the red hots off of the cookies and just eat them.Lick the icing off of the Christmas cut-outs and put the cookie back on the platter.Indulge in the treats, while in the company of three or more, as calories don't count.Eat while standing, the act helps to burn calories.Of course, if you're like me and struggle with moderation, here are a few tips for you: It's a time to enjoy some of the finer things in life! Please, there's no need to overdramatize the weight you feel that you're going to gain from that cookie! Moderation is the key to everything. Holiday Diet Tips for the Devious I get so sick of hearing folks lament about the calories, as they're grazing at the kitchen counter of a festive gathering.